Book Review of 'Never Let You Go'

July 8, 2010-'Never Let You Go' by Erin Healy is the second book I have reviewed for Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I received this book for free and was not required to write a positive review. This book is a supernatural mystery/thriller and kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the entire story! Lexi is a single mother whose past has come back to haunt her in the form of her husband Grant, who abandoned her seven years earlier, as well as drug dealer Warden. Another character who emerges from her past is Norman, who is in prison for murdering Lexi's sister years earlier, an event that fractured and divided Lexi's entire family. Lexi has spent years working multiple jobs to survive, and will do anything to keep her precious daughter Molly safe. There are many complex characters in this book, and the author does a great job of having you guessing who is on the side of good or evil. This is one of those books where you have to pay close attention to everything that is happening or you may miss an important clue. It is definitely not a light read. The end of the book is very intense, and I recommend reading this for yourself.

Book Review

May 24, 2010-I'm doing something new. It's called Booksneeze, and if you are a blogger you get free books for posting a review on your blog. There is a link at the bottom of my blog if you are interested. I love to read, so this is a great way to get free books! So, here is my first review:

I recently received a free book from Thomas Nelson publishers, in exchange for writing a review. The name of the book is 'A Summer Secret' by Kathleen Fuller, and it is book 1 in The Mysteries of Middlefield series. Thirteen-year-old Mary Beth is overwhelmed with all her brothers and chores in her Amish family. She finds refuge in an old, abandoned barn that she has been forbidden by her parents to go into. She enjoys her quiet journal and drawing time here, without being bugged by her pesky brothers. She soon discovers someone else is also using her special place, and sets out to figure out this mystery.

I enjoyed the book, although it was meant for a younger audience such as tweens/teens, who could really relate to Mary Beth. I particularly enjoy Amish fiction, and this one was right up there with others I've read that have done well at giving a true look into this lifestyle. The characters were lively, and I really felt like I knew them. The only disappointment with this book was that it wasn't very suspenseful-I could guess what the ending would be. It was still a good, light read.

Celebration and change!

May 20, 2010- Back in December, I wrote a post about the difficult time we had been having with Nick, our oldest son. The condensed version is that once he turned 18, he decided to not continue with his homeschool high school classes, and was very disrespectful, causing a lot of trouble in the home. We moved him outside to a trailer, and applied for Job Corps, with the idea being he would start Job Corps in January. So, here is the wonderful update:

January came and went, with Job Corps not ready to take him. We found out that there were some delays in the system, and that Nick may not even be able to go to Job Corps. After jumping through some hoops and praying a lot, we finally received the call with his departure date. He moved to Clearfield, Utah on April 6th. After the initial things they need to do to get him settled and acclimated, they started working on figuring out how far along he was in High School. They had his transcripts, but they can pass them off by exam on sections of courses. So, they started giving him his tests,and he kept passing them! This went on for several days, until he finished the year's tests. If the student can do this as well as pass the GED, they can get a regular diploma. He then took the GED and passed it in all areas with flying colors! We were flabbergasted! This child, whom I have homeschooled for most of his life, and I *thought* didn't pay attention to anything, actually was paying attention! It feels good to know that, and we are so very proud of him. It was a big confidence booster for Nick as well. The funny thing was that graduation was five days away! Unfortunately, this ultra-short notice meant that no family or friends could make it, but the four of us went up to Clearfield for his graduation on April 22nd. He looked so grown up in his cap and gown, and had a huge smile the entire time!

After graduation, he worked for a few weeks on career preparation. Basically they go through the different careers available and educate them on all aspects of that career. Initially, Nick had chosen Health occupations (CNA), electrician, and computer rebuilding as possibilities. Then he found out about Composites material technician, and got very excited about this career path. It is only open to students who scored high enough on math, which he did. So last week, he started travelling each day to a technology center up near where he is living to train in this field. He has passed off three packets and taken three tests, and has straight As so far!! He is just today beginning the hands-on part of the course. He is so excited about this, and as we listen to him when he calls at the end of the day, it is amazing to listen to this child have so much knowledge and enthusiasm!

He seems to be enjoying life away from home. It appears to be a strict but fun atmosphere, and he has made lots of friends. He is in a dorm with two other young men in his room, and the campus is huge and full of activities. He swims at the pool, and they have stores and a theatre to name a few things. He can stay the weekend or come home Friday evening to Sunday evening. They work through the summer except for a 2-week break in July. We've been really impressed.

We are very pleased and proud. This is certainly a lesson in how things can get better when you think they never will!

Homemade Laundry Detergent

I've been 'passionate' about different ways to save money-I do all I can to help stretch what we have. I'm going to do a more detailed post on that later, but for now, this is one of the ways we have found to save money. We started making our own laundry detergent back in September, using a recipe found on the Duggar's website, www.duggarfamily.com. We loved the results. Then our church, in need of a building, started a fundraiser where they gave each family $50 to invest in something, to then 'grow' the money into more for the building fund. We decided to make laundry detergent! It was a big seller, and even after that $50 challenge ended, we continue to make and sell it on our own, giving all the profits to the church building fund. I'm not sure how much we have raised, but for sure we know it is several hundred dollars. The thing is, this detergent is SO INEXPENSIVE to make-like 1-2 cents a load! It is fairly easy to make as well. We make the liquid version, but you can surf the web to find other liquid recipes, and powdered versions as well. My friend Amy at lifeslittlecrazies.blogspot.com makes the powdered, and shared some with me. I really liked it as well, but prefer liquid for my HE machine. It is low/no sudsing, which is perfect for the newer machines, but fine for the older ones as well.

We mix ours up in a big 5 gallon bucket, then fill up smaller containers-old detergent containers, apple/orange juice jugs, milk jugs, anything you can think of. One thing that was mentioned on the Duggar's website, and that we noticed as well over time, is that your whites can start to look dingy. This is due to the lack of phosphates in the detergent, and adding Oxyclean will take care of it. The other thing you can do is increase the Borax, which is what we decided to do, and it helped as well.

Here are the directions:

Ingredients: 4 cups hot tap water, 1 bar Fels-Naptha soap, 1 cup Arm & Hammer Washing Soda, 1/2 c. Borax (we have increased to 1 cup). You will also need a cheese grater, a 5 gallon bucket, a tall spoon for stirring, and your clean, smaller containers for storing the detergent.

Directions:
*Grate the bar of Fels-Naptha and add to saucepan with 4 cups hot tap water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap is melted.
*Fill a 5 gallon bucket half-full with hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda, and Borax. Stir well until powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to the top with more hot water. Stir, cover, and let sit overnight to thicken.
* Using a clean plastic container, fill half-full of the soap, then fill the rest of the way with water. Shake well before each use, as it will thicken.
*Optional-you can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons once soap has cooled. Ideas-lavender, tea tree (my favorite).
*Yields 10 gallons of laundry detergent.

Other useful info:
*Recipe costs approximately $2.00 for 10 gallons!!
*Don't buy Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, it must be Super Washing Soda.
*You can add any laundry boosters/additives with this soap.
*Can be used to wash in all temperatures.
*Can be used as a pre-treater for tough stains.
*For regular washing machines use 1/2 cup per load, for front-loader He machines use 1/4 cup.

My next adventure: homemade dishwasher detergent!

Help Find Susan Powell!

This is my friend's sister-in-law. She is also an acquaintance's best friend. She is the mother of two small boys. Above is the flyer looking for her, and below are some links for more information.

Our friend, Susan Powell, a beautiful 28 year old Utah mother, sister, daughter, wife and friend is still missing and has been since December 7th, 2009. We’re asking you to continue helping us find her.
Can you help us? Here’s what you can do:
• Blog. We’re asking anyone who blogs or who has always wanted to blog to write just one post about Susan. For ideas, you can go to the official Find Susan Powell Blog here: http://bit.ly/findsusanblog Use the links below in your blog post and ask your readers to help.
• Follow @FindSusan (http://twitter.com/FindSusan) on Twitter and tweet about her with a link to the one of the links below. Use the #findsusan hashtag and ask your followers to retweet your message with a simple “Pls RT”.
• Go to the official YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/susanpowellsearch Watch the videos, memorize Susan’s face and features. Look around – do you see her? If you do, note her location and condition and call 9-1-1 right now.
• Here is the link to Susan’s missing posters: http://bit.ly/5LEUZB - Again, please memorize Susan’s face and look around right where you are. If you see her, please note her location and condition and call 9-1-1 immediately. Please also consider printing out a few and posting them at your local supermarket and other places nearby. We’re also looking for people who can help us translate Susan’s fliers into other languages. Currently, we’re looking for Asian languages – Japanese, Korean and Chinese. If you are fluent one of these languages or another one we need to consider, please let us know. We’re always open to helpful ideas!
• Ask your friends to email findsusanpowell@gmail.com with “I want to help” in the subject line. If there’s a specific service you can provide for us, if and when the time comes that we can use that help, we’ll email you and let you know.

Parenting Adult Children (even when they don't act like adults!)

Yes, I'm back. It has been almost three months since I posted anything. The last time I posted was just before my oldest turned 18. Yes, there is a connection. The past few months have been exhausting, hair-pulling, and heartbreaking. I didn't have the time or energy to get anything done but the basics that had to get done for my family to run. I think I also didn't know what to post, because my mind was so wrapped up in my child's problems.

First of all, I certainly do not agree that when a child turns 18, they are an adult. I feel the time until they are adults varies, often with girls maturing before boys, but not always. But unfortunately, legally they are adults, and unless you have hidden them away their entire lives, they know this fact.

In a nutshell, this boy, my oldest, has had a rough life medically. Seizures, delays, different emotional problems, etc. After years of diagnosing, the diagnosis that made the most sense was Aspergers, the highest functioning on the Autism Spectrum. We were hoping, and still are, that he will have a normal adult life, but we knew it wouldn't be easy and we were prepared to let him live with us as long as necessary. Never did we imagine things would turn they way they did.

Its funny, people have lots of advice and stories to share about their children's childhood, from babyhood to teenager. But I've noticed that you don't hear much in the way of adult children. No cute stories or tried-and-true advice. I'm starting to understand why!

Our oldest son is a good kid-no smoking, drinking, etc. His idea of a fun evening is a church youth group. As most Aspergers kids, he does obsess on things, and his biggest obsession is his unicycle. Last summer, at our city's July 4th parade, he met a unicycle group. These are all adults, and he quickly became friends with a 19 year old in the group, who is a high school dropout but holds a job. Quickly his obsession became even worse.

Disrespect has always been his biggest problem. We've worked on this his entire life, never making much headway. Yes, we are somewhat strict, with love, and hold our children accountable. Grades under 'C'-grounding until it is brought up, disrespect is also grounding, to name a few. We had prepared our son for this upcoming birthday, telling him that even though he was legally an adult, that as long as he lived with us, in our home, he had to follow the rules like always. This was especially true because he had not yet graduated from High school-he was a senior.

Well, the big birthday came, disrespect ran rampant, and over time he refused to go to his classes or do any schoolwork. No job, no license, no diploma-stupid! But we could not convince him of the mistakes he was making. The mood in our home was not peaceful, and the younger kids were getting the raw end of the deal. After he left for the weekend a few times, with us not knowing where he was, against our instruction, we knew things had to change for the sake of our other children. We did convince him to enroll in Job Corps, and he will be moving there in January. We pray that this will be what he needs to finish High School and get a trade. Unfortunately, we had a few months to wait before he left. So, we decided to move him into our 1968 trailer in our yard. He now has complete independence, but needs to tell us when he is leaving, we provide his food and showers and bathroom, but he spends no time in the house relaxing. It has been hard, but much better for the younger kids, and we hope he is learning a lesson. Since he doesn't drive, he doesn't go places unless a friend will come pick him up. And guess what??? Friends are busy with school, work, etc. Unfortunately, we haven't noticed much of an attitude change in the month he has been in the trailer. He can walk in the door and pick a fight with a sibling in moments. We are praying he can mature and change while he is away at Job Corps. Although it feels awful to put him out in that trailer, it is much better than kicking him out to the streets, and wondering if he is alive day after day. At least this way we know he is safe most of the time, and we have some breathing room with a peaceful attitude in the home.

So, that was the condensed version. I'm reading a book right now called 'The Power of Praying for your Adult Child'. I've learned a lot from this book-besides that I need to be praying a whole lot more, that the worrying about your children never ends. It doesn't end at 18-it just changes throughout your and their lives. I pray my son will find peace and happiness, and that we as his parents will have it as well.