Book Review~Navigating the Explosion-You are Not Alone

When I was born, I went from the hospital to a foster home, and then was placed with my parents at two months old.  My older brother was also adopted, and I had several cousins who had been adopted.  So, adoption was a very normal thing in my life.  When I married, both my husband and I had hearts for helping children in need.  Over the years, we worked in a group home for troubled teens, I did home daycare, and my husband is now a social worker working with at-risk kids.

 We began doing foster care about ten years ago, with the only intention of helping kids and giving them a safe, loving temporary home-NOT adopting.  Well, that went right out the window with our very first placement!  We adopted Chad when he was three years old.  Since then we've had other foster children, but no more adoptions.  Chad is no different to me than my other children-he's all mine, just as I always felt I was with my Mom.  He was meant to be with our family, as I was meant to be with my adoptive family.  God has his plans for our lives. 

Was fostering and adopting easy?  No. There have been times of frustration, and times when you feel alone, that you feel nobody understands what you are going through.   Adoptive mother Allison Schumm has written a book that helps mothers through this incredible, but complicated, journey. 

This is a picture of Allison's amazing, beautiful family. Wow!  In Navigating the Explosion-You are not Alone, Allison shares her story and thoughts, and shares several letters written by adoptive mothers.  The chapters in the book are:

*The Call
*The Wait
*The Honeymoon
*The Groove
*The Future
*The Others

The book is full of relevant information that will also touch your heart.  I felt so understood after I read it. Even if you aren't a foster or adoptive parent, this book would be a valuable read so that you can understand and support others. 

To learn more about Navigating the Explosion-You are not Alone, including where to purchase, visit the author's website.  Here is Allison Schumm's contact information:

www.schummexplosion.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/schummexplosion

www.twitter.com/schummexplosion

www.pinterest.com/adoptedtwice

https://plus.google.com/+AllisonSchumm/posts

 

Thank you to Allison for writing such an important book. 

 

 

~A Special Day~

Six years ago today was a very wonderful day in our family!  Chad officially became part of our family.  He had been a member of our family in our hearts and home for 7 months already, but this was adoption day!

I can't believe how little the kids were! Nick was 14, Alyssa 10, and Chad had just turned 3 a few weeks before.  We were all very happy to make it official!  This little boy has brought so much joy and laughter into our lives, I can't imagine life without him. It is truly an honor and pleasure to be Chad's Mom. 

Goodbye Summer, Hello School!!

I can't believe summer is coming to a close!! It went by so fast. We had a very quiet summer, with no trips or adventures. Just lots of time at home, swim lessons all summer for Chad (he passed off level 3!), and I worked a lot on organizing in the basement and getting ready for the school year. It was enjoyable to not have to be running around crazy the past few months. We did have an exciting (and exhausting) week doing respite foster care for two little ones. They were lots of fun and sweet, but I'm not used to chasing toddlers around anymore! Alyssa had the busiest summer, with clog camp, Hemophilia camp where she was a counselor assistant for the first time, and some fun day trips to water parks. She also got a lot of driving time in with her learner's permit! Jeff worked all summer-they are so short-staffed that he just couldn't get vacation time. We are considering a quick family getaway in the Fall.

So, last time I posted about my kids and their schooling, Nick had graduated High School (whew!), Alyssa was a Freshman in UTVA, and Chad was in 1st grade at the local elementary school. Things have changed! Nick is still at Job Corps but is going off-campus to the local Technical college to train to be a Composites Material technician. He is doing great and we are very proud of him! Alyssa just started her Sophomore year at UTVA yesterday. Chad is the big change-at the end of his 1st grade year, we pulled him out of public school. We were quite frustrated and unsatisfied with many aspects of his education there. We had hoped to keep him in public school for at least a few more years because he has no siblings close to his age to play with. There came a point where we knew he needed to come home for school. So he had a nice, long summer off of school (he would have only had 3 weeks off for summer break had he stayed in school) and we are ready to go next week.

I must admit, it has been many years since I homeschooled a young one, and I am apprehensive. Nick was in 1st grade 12 years ago and Alyssa 9 years ago. It seems like forever! A lot of the curriculum has changed, and there are some great new things out there! I poured through my Rainbow Resource catalog (the Homeschool curriculum bible), spent a lot of time on the internet, and finally made my choices. I'm excited for this upcoming school year-Chad is quite delayed in most every subject, so even though he is beginning 2nd grade I am starting out with 1st grade curriculum. I hope to get through 1st grade quickly and onto 2nd grade this year. He's a smart little guy-just needs the one-on-one I will be able to give him to catch up. I'm really not worried about Chad having to keep up exactly with the public school, but I know his potential and that he was lost in the crowd in school, so it is time to get busy!

I'll go into more detail on curriculum and what I'm doing in other areas in my next post.

Neglected blog!

I have neglected this blog horribly! It really has been a wild month, crazy in fact. A few days before my last post, we took in two little boys for foster care. Of course I can't say names or show pictures, but they were 4 & 6 years old, brothers, and really great kids. Chad was thrilled to have them living with us, and they got along really well. We had them for just about a month, and then foster parents interested in adopting them were found. They have been gone for a few weeks now, and oddly, Chad does not mention them. Even though he had a great time with them, I think he was ready to have us back to our regular family of five.

Unfortunately, a few days after the boys arrived, I got this awful stomach flu. The first several days were terrible-then I started feeling a little better. That lasted a day or two, before it all started again. This cycle went on for more than three weeks! I did see a doctor, who said whatever stomach virus was going around was lasting about 2 weeks, then factor in my messed up immune system and you get what I got!

So, I tried my hardest to care for these boys, of course with lots of help from the rest of the family. But I really felt crappy most of the time, so I know I wasn't much fun. I know they were well cared for, safe, and had tons of fun playing all day every day, and all of that is a major improvement from life before our home. I still couldn't help feeling like I didn't give them all that I could have, but I guess I didn't have much choice. It was unfortunate timing. I'm happy that the boys are in a good home and have the opportunity to have a great life now, and that we could help them on the path even just for a month. Of course we learned from them as well, it is amazing the strength and resilience these little ones have.

I'm not sure what the future holds for us as far as foster care is concerned. This was our first placement in two years, due to my health. I really felt worn out, but I'm not sure how much of that was my flu. I've already received a call about taking in more kids, but I said we needed to finish up the school year and then we'll decide what our next step is. Foster care is something both Jeff and I feel is so important and we love to provide a safe home for these children, but I have to consider my health and how much I can handle. Even with a husband and teens who can help, it still turns the household upside down and is quite a bit more work. So after school is over, we will make that decision.

Since the boys have left, and now that I'm feeling better, I've just been trying to get back on track with life. It is a crazy time of year right now with my homeschoolers trying to finish the year, the dance year ending (I do the finances for Alyssa's dance studio), clogging competition season just wrapped up, and all the summer activities already starting! I will have to do a separate post on Alyssa's clogging season, she did awesome!

Foster care inspection passed-whew!

I really don't know why I stress so much about stuff like this. We've been doing these inspections for a long time now. We had our yearly renewal for our foster care license yesterday. It is the same nice lady each year. She checks the same things each year. But for some reason I freak out about it EACH YEAR! I mean, the worst thing that would happen is she would say 'fix this and let me know when it is fixed'. This year is different though. Almost 3 years ago, we stopped taking in kids because I was about to have a major spine surgery. We figured a couple months off, we'd get back into it. Well, then I got sick with this autoimmune disease that had been dormant in my system for years, but the trauma of the surgery caused it to 'appear'! It took months and months of testing (and misery, me thinking I'm just a wimp) before we figured it out). I'm still having all my symptoms, still on medication, but I have been doing it long enough to know how to manage it all. I do need extra rest, and have to stay away from people if I can during cold/flu season so I am careful. The condition is considered 'terminal' (isn't everyone?) with no cure, but I plan on hanging in there for the long haul. So....of course it makes sense we'd start doing foster care again doesn't it?? I do have a unique situation with my 17 and 14 yo home during the day, so that is very helpful. We are licensed for 3, but I don't think we will take that many-my guess is 1-2 at a time. It will be nice for Chad to have a playmate, as that is the age range we asked for. (3-7yo, and then 0-6months). I'm excited about most of it. The things I do not look forward to is if there are lots of court appointments I have to go to, parent visits I have to go to, therapy I have to go to, etc. Sometimes, depending on the case, it can be quite a drain. Our main goal is to help children though. Our older kids, Alyssa especially, are so excited! Of course, let me say if anything started to go downhill or change with my health we would immediately stop foster care and focus on my health, so no lectures!! I am too chicken to tell my Mom, though. Thank goodness she is not in the world of computers.